“But for how long
do I have to justify my reasons
for my existence?
For how long do I have to pretend
that this does not matter?
For how long do I have to voice all my sensibilities?
How much more do I have to feed on these lies
before I choke on it?
For how long do I have to stare in the eye of an oblivion
hoping some of this, any of this would make sense?
How many more miles do I have to walk,
before all of these vanishes into nothingness?”
“And this is how other people’s lives does not affect yours. You alone can change the world.” said the last line of the article. You can read this line again and again. you can print it and paste it so that it is the first thing you see when you wake up. Well, it is a lie. But as I said earlier, you can keep saying it, inside your head, outside your head, until it starts to sound like the truth.
Here is the simple thing:
“You do not matter, I do not matter, none of this matters.”
I know, I know, it sounds insane. If none of this matters, then what does?
There are no characters here, there are no names, there is no way to go and there is no turning back. What we have is digits, 0 and 1.
One glorious morning, we will die. We will stop breathing and the world will continue to revolve around the sun in its own perfect trajectory. Our death will not alter the direction of the wind nor change the course of the sea. The world may not even care that we existed. Does that worry you? I urge you, do not be scared. This is nothing, if not fair.
It is comforting to live a lie thinking that our destinies are determined by our will. Well, I think it keeps changing because of our choices and the events that led us there. Maybe we all are nothing but zeros, running around in a sequence randomly colliding.What if this all is a computer program we do not understand? Maybe all our problems are like variables. They keep changing, constantly, but it depends upon us how we define it. May be everything is just an algorithm waiting to be coded. Maybe we all are zeros and our life does not matter and it matters the most at the same time.
Let me ask a question. It was World War II and a boy intended of being a writer. That obviously did not happen because he was needed to fight for his country. He went to the war, fought bravely all along the while dreaming about writing his book if he returned alive. He did not return alive. Now, was his life fulfilled?
We zeros do not have a free will. Zeros are meaningless. You see, unity or one was created long before you or me. It existed long before time. We zeros do not have supremacy over one. One is perfect, one is omnipotent, One is almighty. What we zeros have is a choice. Zeros can either feed their egos and be meaningless as it is or they can accept the fact that since we as an individual do not matter, so why not hold on to our values, morals and ethics and serve for the purpose that is for the greater good than ourselves.
To answer the above question, I think that boy’s life was fulfilled. He was a zero, writer or not. But what he chose to do was string after one that gave his zero a value. He disappeared long before but without his knowledge he saved lives of other zeros. He served for a cause greater than himself.
We zeros may not be aware of our value. We do not have any. But instead of using our meaningless lives to make other zero’s life even more meaningless, why not hold on to what we consider to be true and serve for the greater good. We all are zeros after all. We do not matter. But we can choose weather we want to be in front of one, think ourselves as the supreme or be at the back of one and string with other zeros so this meaningless life has some meaning.
The world is a cruel place.It was created by one and one after all is an angel craving chaos . You and me, we are zeros after all. We are slaving to value ourselves. We know we do not hold any meaning but still we are trying to hold onto one. Together we zeros can achieve so much more. We alone cannot change the world. You do not matter. I do not matter. None of this matters. But we matter. We zeros can hold our hands together and stand behind our truth, our one. Zeros are not perfect. Being a zero,we are nothing and have nothing to loose. We are not angels. We are demons but we are demons seeking peace.
Maybe, We being meaningless, being zero is more than we could ever ask for and maybe this is exactly why we matter.